Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don knotts.
Yoo-hoo!
Anybody home?
Oh, Clara.
Come on in.
Well...
Here they are.
Oh, you've been putting out pickles.
Mm-hmm.
And I do believe these are the best ones I've ever done.
Of course, I'm not an expert.
Oh, Clara Johnson, you are.
Anyone who wins the blue ribbon at the fair
for ten years in a row?
Eleven.
And it's just possible these may make it 12.
Just think of that.
Confidentially, I'm using more allspice.
What do you think?
Mmm.
Simply delicious.
Oh, Clara, these are wonderful.
I think so myself.
Oh, you're entering the contest, too.
No, no. Those are just for my family.
Oh, but, bee, you shou enter.
Where's your sporting blood?
No, no, no. No more contests.
Can't say I haven't tried.
I tried for ten years and I lost for ten years.
Eleven.
Well, I know your pickles would stand a wonderful chance.
Let me try one.
They're better than the others.
What do you think, Clara?
Oh, uh...
They're very nice, very nice indeed.
They're quite...
Pleasant and nice.
Really?
Oh, yes, indeed.
I wouldn't change them one single bit...
Except maybe the brine might be just a touch too heavy.
I was very careful...
But that's the only thing.
Maybe an extra sprig or two of parsley
steeped in the vinegar.
And possibly if you could get younger cucumbers
they wouldn't be so soft.
And then drain them more
and use fresher spices.
But other than that, they're quite nice.
Well, I just put them out for the boys.
Yes. Well, let me leave my jar for Opie.
Thank you, Clara.
See you later.
Bye.
Oh, you might try boiling the vinegar
just two seconds more, too.
Thank you, Clara.
But they're nice.
♪ oh, I'll be there
♪ in answer to her prayer
♪ I'll tell my darling mother
♪ I'll be there
Oh, hi, aunt bee.
Hi.
Anybody ready for some lunch?
Oh, we sure are.
Yeah, boy.
I have a little surprise for you today.
Did you hear that, Barney?
Aunt bee's brought us a surprise.
Don't you tell me
it's some of that good old apple crumb pie.
Better than that.
You made potato pancakes?
No. Even better than that.
Well, what?
Roast beef sandwich...
Uh-huh.
Coleslaw...
Yeah.
And here's the surprise.
Some of my new homemade pickles.
Well, that certainly is a wonderful surprise.
Lookit there, Barney...
Aunt bee's brought us some of her homemade pickles.
I see.
It sure is wonderful.
You really shouldn't have, aunt bee.
That's right, aunt bee.
You go to way yonder too much trouble to please us.
Oh, it's no trouble at all.
There's plenty. I made eight quarts.
Eight quarts?
Oh, aunt bee made eight quarts.
Eight quarts.
So you can have some every day.
Oh, well, I had an awful big breakfast.
I just stuffed myself something terrible.
You ought to have room for just a pickle.
Here you are.
And here you are.
Yeah, here I am.
Yeah, that's, uh...
That's homemade, all right.
Anybody can tell that.
A cute little fella, isn't it?
Well, go ahead and taste it.
Well, I-I don't want to waste it
when I'm so full up like this.
I think I'll just wait
and smoke it... Eat it after supper.
Oh, nonsense.
Go ahead and enjoy it now.
If you want some more after supper
I'll bring you over a whole jar.
You do like pickles
don't you?
Oh, sure. Who don't?
Well?
There's no mistake about it.
That's a pickle.
Yeah, boy.
I'm glad you boys like them.
Well, I don't want to keep you from your work.
Enjoy the pickles.
Where we throw them?
No. Wait.
She might find out, and it'd break her heart.
Well, we got to do something.
We can't... shoo, fly.
It's dead.
Well, we got to figure some way
to dispose of these pickles
so there won't be a trace of 'em.
Yeah, but how?
I can't understand it.
Why does she keep on making them?
I reckon like most women
she just automatically figures
that anything homemade has got to be better
than something from the store.
Store pickles are ten times better than these.
A hundred times better.
I don't know how I can face the future
when I know there's eight quarts of these pickles in it.
You just had a idea there.
Let's examine the situation here.
We're more or less bound to consume the pickles
in them jars, right?
Now, if they was good ol' store pickles
we could eat them.
But they ain't good ol' store pickles.
They're bad ol' home pickles.
We'll just turn them into store pickles.
How?
We'll get eight quarts of store pickles
and put 'em in aunt bee's jars.
And then we wouldn't hurt her feelings.
We could eat the pickles, and she'd be tickled pink.
Tonight we go into operation pickle switch.
Pickle switch. You character.
Pretty good.
There's two more now.
You got 'em, Barn? Yeah.
Opie, I want you to understand.
Ordinarily, I don't approve
of doing things behind folks's back.
I get it, paw.
We better hustle
while she's still over at Mrs. Johnson's.
Now, you know why we're doing this?
'Cause we don't want to hurt aunt bee's feelings
and you don't want me to get sick again.
I guess that's right.
Unscrew them things.
Now the cloth.
11 minutes. That's not bad.
We're on schedule.
Now, we got to get rid of aunt bee's pickles
in such a way
that she'll never detect a sign.
You can trust me.
Ope, get on upstairs.
Aunt bee'll be back any second.
Okay, paw.
This whole thing's come off pretty smooth.
I'd say so.
Go out this way to be sure not to run into aunt bee.
Hello.
Oh, hi, aunt bee.
I came through the back.
I had to get some things off the clothesline.
Barney, you going some place?
Huh?
Your suitcase.
Uh... uh... the suitcase?
Oh, uh, Barney's, uh...
Barney's going on a trip.
Ain't ya, Barney?
Uh... trip. That's right.
I'm going on a trip.
That's right.
I'm gonna visit my aun... uh, cousin.
Uh, I'll be back tomorrow, though.
I would've brought my own suitcase
but it's in the cleaners.
Yeah, have a good time.
Bye, Barney.
You don't know him, and he don't have a phone
so don't try to call him up to check on it.
What?
My cousin... The one I'm visiting.
Why should I do that?
Opie's in bed, I suppose.
Bye, Barney. Yes, ma'am.
I just decided to go at the last minute
so I just pickled a few things to...
Picked a few things to take with me.
Well, that sounds like a good idea.
Oh, uh, well... I'll be going now.
Uh... Uh, shaving lotion.
I shave a lot when I travel
so I brought some lotion with me.
That's perfectly natural. Everybody shaves.
Well, men, that is, and I'm a man.
And so there's really nothing to be suspicious about.
And if I was you, I'd just forget the whole thing.
Well, Barney, have a nice trip.
I'll see you when you get back.
This cousin of mine...
Say, he lives way over...
Just go.
That was close.
Yeah. Now, get rid of the you-know-what.
Get rid of what?
Oh, the pick...!
Bye, aunt bee!
I'm leaving on my trip to my cousin's house...!
What's up, officer? I do something wrong?
I wasn't speeding.
Oh, no.
I see by your license plates
that you're from Oregon.
That's right. Portland.
On your way back there now, are you?
As a matter of fact, I am.
Uh-huh.
What's the trouble?
Oh, no trouble at all.
Like you said, you wasn't speeding.
As a matter of fact
you was handling your car so perfect
that you qualify for our safe driving award.
Safe driving award?
That's right. And here she is.
Mayberry says thanks and happy motoring.
Have a nice trip now
and don't stop for anything.
Barney, you never told us a thing about your trip.
What trip?
Oh, oh. The trip.
Uh, uh, well, it was just fine, fine.
They were just pickled tink to see me.
I bet they didn't serve you any pickles
as good as these.
They sure are tasty.
They're the best I ever had. Let me have another one.
All right.
I've never seen you boys eat so many pickles.
Well, they're just plain irresistible, aunt bee.
Care for some, op?
Sure would, paw.
I think I'll try one myself.
Oh, yeah, help yourself. You'll like 'em.
Mmm.
Say, they are good, aren't they?
They are that.
And I was beginning to think
you boys didn't really care about my pickles.
Oh, now, aunt bee.
Well, they weren't disappearing very fast.
As a matter of fact
this last batch would be my very last.
Your last?
Mm-hmm. I see you really do like them.
And another thing.
I decided not to be in the contest this year
but, you know, I've changed my mind.
I think I've hit on just the right recipe.
Gonna enter the competition after all.
Y
This may be the year
to beat out Mrs. Johnson for the blue ribbon.
I'm gonna enter these pickles.
These?
These.
It ain't our fault, Andy.
Whoever would have thought
she'd actually enter them in the contest?
Well, the thing that bothers me
is them's good store pickles, Barney.
She might even win that contest,
and it wouldn't be fair to the others.
Well, what's wrong with her winning?
After 11 years of trying,
she's certainly entitled to one blue ribbon.
But they're not her pickles.
Yeah, well, it means so much to her.
Well, yeah, it does that.
You know, if she did win, it might be a good joke.
Imagine aunt bee walking off with a fixed pickle contest.
Just a harmless joke's all.
Yeah.
Sheriff, are you busy?
Well, of course not, Mrs. Johnson.
How are ya, Mrs. Johnson?
Just fine, thank you.
I brought ya a little something.
Oh, you did? What?
Some homemade pickles.
Oh, I declare.
Well, lookit there, Barney.
Mrs. Johnson brought us some pickles.
Uh-huh.
Well, I think you'll like them.
They're sort of special.
This year I went wild with allspice.
Oh, Mrs. Johnson
I'd have never thought it of ya.
Well, aren't you going to taste one?
Well, the fact is
me and Barney just had a sizable lunch.
Yeah, and I got to go out on patrol.
Wouldn't do for me to stop anybody
with allspice on my breath.
Well, aren't you
going to try just one?
Me and Barney'll try one, won't we, Barn?
Come on and let's have one of Mrs. Johnson's pickles.
No, you-you go ahead, Andy. I gotta bring the car around.
Barney!
Well... maybe just a little one.
Hey, these are good.
Do you really think so?
Mmm, just as flavorsome as can be.
Oh, I'm glad you like them so much.
I do spend an awful lot of time on them.
Maybe more than I should.
Well, you can certainly tell it.
You know, when Mr. Johnson was alive
he just loved them so much.
He always used to say to me:
"Clara, when my time comes and I go to heaven
"I'll just bet they don't put down a pickle
that can compare with yours."
That's what he always said, rest his soul.
Yeah.
I guess now
he has a chance to find out.
I'd say chances are, he is exactly 100% right.
Did you ever see my scrapbook
with all the prizes I've won for my pickles?
Uh, yes...
I've got it right here. Pasted in everything...
The blue ribbons from the fair.
First place every year for 11 years.
That's quite a record.
You know, whenever I get discouraged or lonely
I take out my book and look at my ribbons.
I don't know how to explain it
but... it's a great comfort
to know that there's something I can do.
Why, I suppose I'm just a foolish old lady.
Oh, well, now, I wouldn't believe that for a minute.
You probably think I'm just putting on airs
but I do try to make my pickles better every year.
It means so much to me.
Barney, we have got us a mess.
Well, how's that?
We was dead wrong
about figurin' that contest didn't mean anything.
What's small potatoes to some folks
can be mighty important to others.
Are you talkin' about Mrs. Johnson?
Mm-hmm.
Barney, that poor soul just lives for that contest
and if she got nosed out by a store pickle
I'd never forgive myself.
But, Andy, like we said, it'd just be a little joke.
No, not to her, it wouldn't.
No chance of getting aunt bee's old pickles back, is there?
They're scattered all the way from Oregon to Nova Scotia.
We got to make this contest fair and square.
That means the pickles aunt bee enters
has got to be the pickles aunt bee makes.
But the pickles she made, they're gone.
I know it.
We're just gonna have to get her
to make another batch.
You can't be serious.
You mean you actually want her
to make another batch of them kerosene cucumbers?
All right. How're we gonna do it?
Well...
Somehow between now and the contest
we're gonna have to eat up
all the store pickles that aunt bee's got on hand.
Why don't we get rid of them
the same way we got rid of the others?
No. That won't work.
See, she's got to see them pickles disappearin'
and she's got to see us likin' 'em so much
that she'll want to make another batch.
Oh, Andy, I gotta tell ya
now, my heart ain't in this.
Well, it's not so much your heart we need...
It's your stomach.
Now, we got to eat up eight quarts of pickles.
Lunchtime!
Hi, aunt bee.
You know, the most terrible thing...
I was fixing your lunch and I went to get some pickles
and do you know they're all gone?
Really?
They're gone?
I can't imagine where they went.
Well, I can.
I know you boys have been eating a lot lately
but I never thought we'd get through all of them.
This is terrible.
The contest is almost here
and I don't have a single pickle to enter.
Oh, it's all our fault
no two ways about it.
No, no, I'm glad you enjoyed...
We're just gluttons.
Gluttons, gluttons, gluttons.
I'm just ashamed of both of us.
Ain't you, Barney?
I've already told everybody I'm going to enter the contest
and now I'll look ridiculous if I don't.
I guess there's nothin' you can do
outside of makin' a new batch.
I guess not.
Hey, that's a excellent idea
and ain't you the clever one to think of it.
What?
What you said about makin' a new batch.
I did?
Yeah, but you'll have to hurry some.
Oh...
Another batch... that's it.
Yeah, you can get all the stuff.
Mrs. Dredmar has some nice cucumbers.
You got lots of empty jars.
And Mrs. Johnson'll loan ya some spices.
Yes. I think I can do it.
I'll just put off the sewin'.
The kettle's already...
Kettle's done.
Oh, my goodness. I'm going to have to hurry.
Oh, you gonna have to hurry.
They're just up to the preacher's wife's now.
Oh, I'm so excited
I just can't stand it.
Oh, now, aunt bee, calm yourself.
I think this is my neighbor's jar, this jar.
Look, they're up to mine now.
Well, what would you say?
Kerosene?
Precisely.
Oh, it's Mrs. Johnson again.
Oh, just look at her. She looks so happy.
She's floatin' on a cloud.
Well, it means a lot to her.
I'm so happy!
Congratulations, Mrs. Johnson.
Congratulations.
Just imagine... Blue ribbon number 12.
And you deserved it, dear.
Oh, I'm so happy.
I'm so very happy.
I could almost cry.
I worked and suffered for this so long.
Yes, well, we all have.
Oh, well, I must go and thank the judges.
Where did they go to?
Uh, they're over there
at the water fountain washin' their hands.
Oh.
Well, aunt bee, maybe next year.
Oh, it doesn't matter. I don't care.
As long as my family likes what I make
that's blue ribbon enough for me.
Good for you, aunt bee.
Actually, you boys are going to be the winners.
That's right.
I made a double batch this time,
you liked my pickles so much... 16 jars.
16?
16 jars.
And I'll see that you get some every day.
Come along, Opie.
16 jars.
Well, there's only one thing to do.
That's what we should have done in the first place.
You mean, uh...
Learn to love 'em.
Help yourself, Barn.
Yo!
You coming to work today?
Is it 8:00 already?
Are you kiddin'? It's three past.
I can't hardly get started this morning.
Just let me drink my coffee here.
Sit down and have some toast and jelly or something.
Yeah, I believe I will.
Ahh.
It's a nice day.
Is it?
You been doing some painting in here?
No, no.
Probably just some glue Opie's using on model airplanes.
No, don't smell like glue to me.
Smells more like ammonia.
You don't reckon that gas stove's leaking, do you?
I found it.
What?
Aunt bee was a-workin' in here yesterday.
Apparently aunt bee is making marmalade now.
Well, don't just stand there.
Go get the suitcase.